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New Job Title: Working Mom

February 8, 2013

After 8 wonderful weeks at home with Ruthie Jeanne, I headed back to the office last week for two weeks of part-time work before getting back to full-time hours next week.  I had mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, I was definitely ready to get out of the house on a more regular basis as well as have some more intellectual stimulation and adult conversation that didn’t revolve around the consistency and color of Ruthie Jeanne’s latest poop.  But, going to work meant leaving my precious little one, and I wasn’t quite ready for that just yet.  The time had arrived, however, and there was no stopping it.  So, I packed Ruthie Jeanne’s bag and headed to the sitter.

I’m happy to say I didn’t shed any tears.  Luckily, that first day was just for a few hours, so that helped with the anxiety.  And, we are blessed to have an amazing lady keeping Ruthie Jeanne for us.  She is a mom of four and has been keeping kids for years.  She also speaks Spanish as a result of growing up in South America with missionary parents.  This was a big plus for us as we hope to raise Ruthie Jeanne bilingual (Chris is gonna have to step it up and learn Spanish, too!).

I made it through these first two weeks without incident.  I only teared up once, and that was Thursday of this week.  As I looked in the rear view mirror on our way to the sitter’s, Ruthie Jeanne was wide awake, looking out the mirror, and my heart just melted.  I didn’t want to leave her, knowing that she is changing every moment.  I pushed through, and made it through the day, but I was very excited to pick her up that afternoon.  And I have soaked up every minute with her today, enjoying every smile, coo, and squeal.

This whole working mom thing is a new thing for me.  My mom quit teaching once I was born, and only went back for a brief time once my sisters and I were all in school.  I’m not sure what it looks like to balance work and a growing family.  I know plenty of people do it, and do it well, but I also recognize that we all have to figure it out for ourselves, as each family and each job is different.  I am extremely lucky with the flexibility my job offers and the amazing built-in support system I have with amazing colleagues and a loving congregation surrounding our family.  But, to be completely honest, there is that twinge of guilt when I drop Ruthie Jeanne off.  There is a little bit of heartbreak when I see her smile at Carol (our sitter) with those big smiles previously reserved for me.

Next week will be the big test as I go back full-time.  Sunday will also be interesting, as it will be the first Sunday where I won’t be sitting next to her.  If she cries during the service, I can’t guarantee I won’t run down to the pew in my robe (Sorry, Mark!).

I’d love to hear from other working moms out there – any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

Oh, and because no post would be complete without a picture, here’s my little one during out playtime today!

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